Melvin Howard 41

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Melvin Howard
Mailing Address:
Melvin Howard #01A0595
Attica Correctional Facility
639 Exchange St
Attica, NY 14011
Hey World,  

I'm in need of a friend; a real one. Someone who can help a lonely, complex man finally find freedom and true happiness; preferably an independent, intelligent, open - minded, mature, HONEST and RELIABLE, woman who's not into playing games; one who believes in me, can love me for me ( flaws and all); and will be helpful in helping me find freedom and as much comfort as possible until I do.

Look: Race, religion, nationality is unimportant. Just be honest, trustworthy, serious and able to communicate. I'm interested in go getters only. Please note: I am Not, a goody two shoes and (I guess) I'm not trying to be one. I'm flawed. And, I make mistakes. I take risks, do what's needed to survive, and do not consistently conform to societal norms. But, I'm a very, very good MAN - in every sense of the word. Unfortunately, I'm overlooked.

I just need/want someone who can ( or will seriously try to ) understand me, my circumstances and my life style. Anyone who can love me at my worst, deserves to be there at my best.

If you're a lying, half - stepping quitter, who can't be trusted or won't finish what you started - stop reading. I'm not for you. You don't deserve me, my friendship or whatever I have to offer. It takes a special, certain type of down ass chick, to hold a brother like me down; if that's you - please read on.

I'm 38 years old. Born Aug. 15, 1976 in the South Bronx ( in the backseat of a police car). My parents were raised in the segregated South; but, I'm first generation N.Y. I grew up very poor in an area that made President Jimmy Carter cry; then, the birthplace of Hip Hop, resembled a war torn Iraqi city - it made New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina look like San Trope'.

To survive, I've lived the life these rappers only talk about. In 1997, I was arrested for murder, manslaughter, guns and drugs; and (drum roll please).....I'm not guilty. I'm not saying I'm innocent ( who is?!! Are you?); I'm just not guilty of these charges. And, one day, I'll prove it.

After being acquitted of two counts of murder and sentenced to 31 years for the remaining charges, the money went low. I've lost family ties and plenty of fair weather friends ( which isn't really bad.... hurtful but not bad. It just hurts to see who don't really love you.)

Today, incarcerated or not, my struggle is the same; survive, get free, succeed, take care of self, family and community by any means that don't involve losing myself or my sanity ( though sometimes I've crossed that fine line from time to time)

Still, I'm sexually open - minded, book/street smart, business - oriented, daring, courageous, insightful, ingenious, curious, confident, competent, sincere, straightforward, outspoken, stubborn, loyal, determined, non - judgmental - and spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally strong. I'm a go - getter. Bars can't/won't stop me; so, I'm still poised to succeed.

Besides fighting for my freedom, I'm writing a book and screenplay based on my life, my environment, my family and our struggles. Trust me: there's a lot of sex, drugs, violence, drama, history, social commentary - oh, and did I mention SEX!!!! My goal is: inform the masses how/why guys like me lived the way we did. Show them the consequences - and make a profit. It's a win - win. ( The first volume shall end with my full acquittal - believe it. )

There's plenty other business ideas I have in mind. I just need someone whose trustworthy to help. Listen: I'm not a leech; and, I don't like leeches. I've prided myself on supporting myself even with my hands tied. But, I've grown enough to know I can't do it all alone; and, though it pains me, it makes me more of a man to say: I need help.

And, it hurts to see rapists, child molesters, snitches, dead - beat Dads, woman beaters and half assed, lying individuals receive more visits, packages, gifts, mail, sex, love and affection than someone like me. Truthfully, none of that erases the indignities and sorrow of confinement; but, they're tokens of affection, showing that someone cares. I wanna be loved too. If they can receive that, why can't I ?

My Mother recently passed from HIV and breast cancer. She contracted HIV from a no-good, long term boyfriend. My time in prison and my Mother's death has increased my appreciation of women. So, what might be taken for granted, ( hearing your thoughts, seeing your smile, hearing your voice, hearing how you feel, feeling your touch, your kisses, smelling your perfume, receiving your tokens of affection) are things I'll appreciate. When was the last time you were truly appreciated? This is a man's world, but today I'm certain - it ain't shit without women!!!!

Relationships based more on what's physical rarely last; but those built more on what's spiritual, mental and emotional usually do. Everyone in or out of prison talks about a lasting relationship with someone, where they struggle and succeed together. And, everything we all know we need to make a relationship last, is the same in or out of prison. The difference is: out there, you focus on what's physical - how they look or dress; how much they make, what they drive, how they sex. etc. - and then try to build......this usually fails.

But, if you're serious and real, I offer a friendship that's more profound. With me: we must be committed to openly, honestly and consistently communicating; we must be committed to expressing our thoughts and feelings and getting to know the "person" inside first; we must focus on character, personality, ambitions, wants/needs of each other; we must be able to agree to disagree, compromise and sacrifice; we must express our feelings in deeds for deeper than sex; We must be involved for something far more than something physical; We must be true friends before lovers; The bond we build has no choice but to be mental, emotional and spiritual. If we build it, it has no choice but to be ever lasting. Aren't you tired of empty relationships by now?

If what I'm saying makes any sense - write me. Send your contact info. Tell me about yourself; likes/dislikes, occupation, how your days going - ask anything. Send pictures and let nature take it's course. Look: if you're reading this, something compelled you. Nothing happens without reason. Come see what it is.

I've been surrounded by men for 12 years and I'm still not interested. Plus, I've spent the last 4 years in solitary confinement; ( 23 hr. lock down). So, the letters, pictures, conversation, will be highly appreciated. Any interesting, independent women are welcome.

I look forward to building with you.

Melvin

                                                                                                
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